Raising Boys Part 2 – What to expect if you are having a boy!

If, like me, you didn’t have a clue what to expect when you found out you were having a boy, then this is the post for you. I felt completely out of my depth when Tink was born and, then again when Pup was born. No 2 boys are the same, heck, no 2 kids are the same, no matter what the sex but, I will tell you something: little boys will surprise you.

Boys! What makes a Boy?

Whenever I think of how to start this piece, I am automatically drawn back to the Nursery Rhyme written by the poet, Robert Southey. He described little boys as being made of snips and snails and puppy-dog tails, basically slimy, slithery and, quite aptly put, the rear end of a dog. For anyone wondering, a snip is an eel and yes, I had to ask Mr Google. When you actually consider what boys are like, this is the perfect description.

“What are little boys made of, made of?
What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy-dogs’ tails,
That’s what little boys are made of.

What are little girls made of, made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice, and everything nice,
That’s what little girls are made of.”

Written by the poet, Robert Southey

Wild at Heart

The phrase, snips and snails, makes me think of wild, outdoor adventures. Boys can often be found digging through the dirt, hunting for something creepy, crawly, slimy and slithery to keep as a pet or, just to chase Mummy round the garden with.

Little Boys
Little Lady Bird

Little boys will surprise you. They are wild at heart. They like to run, jump and explore. Prepare to build dens, make rope swings and climb trees. If you are having a boy you will never be bored.

From my own experience, little boys love learning about anything in nature. Pup would spend all day watching a spider in its web, while I’d stand by and squirm uncomfortably. Everything fascinates them. On one occasion, a wee dragonfly was caught in a web in our back garden. Pup spent the afternoon watching him, trying to figure out ways to free him without damaging the web. He was concerned not only for the dragonfly, but, also for the spider’s home. He was a bit young at that point to understand the laws of nature, “There’s always a bigger fish” (Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace).

My little boys are naturally kind-hearted, caring and considerate to other living creatures.

Kind & Caring

From my experience, I’ve found my boys to be extremely kind and caring to others, maybe not towards each other but, where their peers are concerned, they can be very considerate. They stand up for their friends. Neither likes to see injustice and always feels the need to do something about it; unfortunately, Tink can be quite the grass whereas, I would quite expect Pup to jump in, fists flying.

Piss the boy off and you unleash the beast within. Both have extremely strong personalities in their own way. Pup is loud and boisterous but Tink can be more reserved. However, both love fiercely.

Little boys are definitely loving, especially towards their Mums. If you are having a boy expect loads of cuddles. You may struggle sometimes to keep up with their boundless supplies of energy but, you will always feel loved, well for the most part. There will be times when they push all your buttons and, times when they smell so bad that you want to put oceans between you.

Pungent Odours

Boys are constant jokers. Little boys will surprise you. Every single thing they say or do can include toilet humour. Little boys love everything poo related. Most of all they find it hilarious to bend over and let it rip. Prepare to walk into any room and smell that stench. If you ever misplace a boy, just follow that pong.

Even serious conversations will turn into a fart fest. Take today for example. I was trying to have a conversation with Pup about how his brother needs to concentrate on schoolwork. What does Pup do? He hops up on my lap and forces one out. ON PURPOSE!!!! This is a regular occurrence in our household. Every single thing they do coincides with a running commentary from their butt holes. If you are having a boy you might want to invest in some nose plugs.

Pup is just THE WORST! He is constantly trumping away and it’s not even due to what he eats. His diet is fairly well balanced. He can honestly trump on command. I am actually really concerned that one of these days he will pass wind and accidentally touch cotton. He just finds it too funny. I really hope he outgrows that but then again, his dad hasn’t. This is definitely a boy thing!

Mr Farty Pants

Boisterous

Little boys are unbelievably, unequivocally boisterous. There is absolutely nothing careful about them. My two barrel around the place at 90 miles an hour; all they want to do is run, shout and play. Again, this is due to the extreme quantities of exuberance running through their bodies.

They will find any excuse to wrestle and roll around on the floor like a pack of dogs, fighting to secure their dominance.  They are extremely competitive. Maybe this is where the “puppy-dog tails” came into play. Little boys will surprise you; they are part canine. Prepare to find bruises you didn’t know they, or you, had. If you are having a boy, you might need to have a good stock of arnica in your medicine cabinet.

Not only do they like to throw down but they will climb on anything and everything. I have found Pup sprawled across the top of the radiator, standing on top of the TV stand and, on one occasion, standing on the shelf inside his brother’s cupboard, with the cupboard door closed I might add. Tink has also been known to have a love of all things out of reach. This is detrimental to my health as I am 100%, stone cold, terrified of heights. Be prepared to live with your heart constantly in your throat.

On the plus side, their love of climbing just reinforces how curious they are.

little boys
Monkeying Around

Curious

Boys are extremely curious about everything. They are adventurous and, no matter where they go, they will explore their surroundings. My 2 are little sponges, just sucking up all information that they can, a bit like Number Johnny 5 in Short Circuit; “more input, more input”, never quite getting enough.

Unfortunately, there is a downside to this. They will sometimes get so curious that they may do something (cough) stupid, like stick their head through a table or shove a popcorn kernel up their nose. I don’t know, maybe he thought, hmmm it’s warm up there maybe it’ll pop into popcorn. Think I would have thrown up in my mouth a little had he tried to eat it after because, trust me, they do that too.

Yup, this was a very good idea!!!

They want to try everything, see everything and unfortunately, taste everything. On that note, they do like their food.

Hungry

Hunger isn’t a word that most children should understand but, it is DEFINITELY a word they all use. Boys are ALWAYS hungry. I would probably guarantee that my 2 will use the phrase “I’m hungry” at least 30 times a day, if not more.

Today, for example, they had crusty bread and soup for lunch. Tink hadn’t even finished his when he started pestering me for more food, a bagel to be exact. This obviously encouraged Pup to pipe in too. In the end they ate all their lunch, a bagel and then, low and behold, 5 minutes later, “I’m hungry” sounds again, there is no off button to their stomachs. They are repetitive like a bad headache.

Home schooling definitely isn’t helping the situation. The weekly shopping will only just have been put away when I open the cupboards to find them all empty again. I asked Tink, how many snacks do you get at school? To which he answered 2. Yup, we established 1 of these is actually part of his lunch. So really, what’s so different between school and the house that you have to constantly be shovelling vast quantities of food in every 5 minutes of the day? I’ll tell you what; his mum’s a push over. Don’t be like me, don’t be a push over.

All this food also means more chance of spillages, which also happens to mean a change of clothes and, lo and behold, more laundry.

Laundry

Right now, I’m obviously sitting here writing this but, I’ve just remembered, I have laundry sitting in a soggy pile upstairs, waiting to be hung up to dry. It’s sat there all day so far. This is a perfect example of living with boys. You might be lucky and get a little boy who likes to stay clean but, then again, pigs may fly. Mine cannot stay clean. My advice is, just roll with it. Be prepared to constantly play spin the washing machine, a mum’s take on spin the bottle. When will it stop? Nobody knows.

One other thing to mention would be that little boys spend a lot of time crawling around on their knees, which isn’t too healthy for their clothing or your bank balance. Not only do you have to wash constantly but, you have to keep a look out for holey trousers. If you are having a boy, buy ones with reinforced knees, especially for school. Besides, as long as the holes aren’t located in other “areas” I’m sure they will be fine.

Creative

Little boys are super creative and love nothing more than experimenting with different ways to play, from building dens to constructing magnificent Lego mansions. Prepare to have you dining room table converted into some sort of secret underground bunker. As Tink says, “I have 6 secret bases around my house”. It’s all well and good until your hanging up their clothes one day and this wee person jumps out at you. The last place you expect to find the little munchkin is the first place you should always look. Tink has scared the crap out of me on several occasions, once even in the middle of the night. Little boys will ALWAYS surprise you.

To Sum It Up

Little boys are full of excitement and adventure; you never know quite what to expect, day in day out. They are pungent but loveable, curious, but spirited and will always find ways to shake you up.

 Just remember, it’s not important to always try to keep up, just be there. Enjoy the ride.

If in doubt, just wing it, pap them on their tablets and drink copious amounts of wine.

little boys

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